The perfect getaway doesn't exist and it's a shame, because sometimes I need it like the air I breathe.
I'd like to run away when things become so hard to be unbearable, but I'm stuck where I am and I can't turn my back to them and walk away.
I'm so sick of people who always step into my personal space, not only physical.
I really have to learn to compartmentalize so people's opinion won't bother me the way it does.
Things in my head are so painfully clear but I'm not always able to express myself like I want.
I wrote letters to you on many occasions but I'm not gonna let you know about their existence, it's a promise. Sometimes I ask to myself where are you and what are you doing, but I'm not sure that I actually want to know the answer.
I'm lying on my bed, unmade and messy like I left it this morning.
Maybe messy just like the way I am.
It happens to think about you when I let myself to relax and slow down.
I'd be lying if I told you that I don't miss you at all, but I have to.
For my sanity's sake, at least.
Sometimes I search your smile in strangers' faces and I'm pissed when they're not you, but I crave that smile like years ago.
Like the air I breathe, but you're gone and now I'm suffocating.
I'm lying on my bed to think of you and maybe I shouldn't.
Erase this, I really should not but the thought of you is beating me down.
How can you do this and how can I let you do it?
I know perfectly well that's my fault but every single day I find an excuse to blame you instead of me.
I'm always the same irresponsible and unstable girl that I used to be.
The girl you left behind your shoulders and never look at again.
Just pay me attention one more time and listen to what I have to tell you, then you can go away and I won't stop you.
Will you be able to listen to the unspoken things I'm going to leave suspended between us?